Red but blue candles (June 23, 2009)

## log (July 9, 2012) : I was glad to hear that she, happened to read this.  :(


Several ladies I've tried to be with
Knowing that replacement might help to forget
but nobody did. now I'm alone with nothing to rely
Nights are sleepless every time I cry
Honestly, my last wish is to be You and I


Torturing inside as I feel the hatred
Knowing that the simplest thing is if I waited
do you have any Idea on how to deal
on this feeling that spills
the words "I love you still"?


Erasing the memoirs wasn't that easy
Burying the happiest hours you gave me
now it's hard for me to push through
while thinking of you is all I knew
listening to your voice that ensures me you love me too


Pictures are fading though they're inside the frame
teasing me that it will never be the same
for now your trust is so hard to achieve
I couldn't even make you believe
what more if I wish for you to forgiv?


Helplessly devoted, I'm hopelessly drowned
Of liquors, tears, and regrets until now
But I can't just forget everything after all
patience from now on was my newly made principle
hoping for something I knew impossible


Plagues surround me as I see happy lovers
It wasn't cool to witness that they cater each other
I'm still not over on this deep cold amity
Sad to say for me, this was another empty anniversary
of the very first time I saw personally, an Angel landed on Star City
(May 26, 2009)

Efforts won't be useless though it's not appreciated
For someday, I know. They all do worth it
The days and nights of winter while I'm blue
Mysterious riddle as you don't give any clue
I will be waiting if it's the last thing I can do


Addicting are the past which I can't get rid to reminisce
gazing at those pictures, the hard copies of past's evidence
I always come up with these conclusions.. this two:
Lucky you who found someone new
unlucky me who can't get over you


Running tears won't bring you back
alcohols might make my lifespan subtract
still its better than to just
to force myself to adjust
while I only think of how it was


Lies didn't change you, but being a victim
and I was the culprit of this act of deceiving
Yes am willing to face any kind of your wrath
yesterday was immaturity and these gray years were the aftermath
well I must say I'm sorry, but uh.. I will wait no matter what


Loads of time is all I have to offer you
though you don't even care, I'm always ready if you asked to
last chance, though unreasonable, please at least let me try
let's begin all over again, let the dark memories die
Now if I did fail you again, I promise, I won't even hit an alibi


"I know I love you before I met you"
This song turns my head down, like the singer was on my shoe
now I'm looking up the sky, maybe accidently you'll give a call
that we are looking at the same star, though the probability was very small
happy birthday to myself. light the candles and i will blow it all


Minutes you spent on reading this poem of mine
afterward you'll get back to the one who deserved your time
but thanks for appreciation though it's against your will
I know it won't matter but this last is for real
surely it's nonsense, but, uhh.. I love you still.

Uhmmm. I made this one every night insomnia attacks -each stanza, line, whatever. It was paused for a few weeks, and accomplished today #June 23 2009, 12:50AM.

Til my next post.
Chill out!