Sigh.
So, what's next? I mean,
last time we exchanged text messages, slept past six o'clock in the morning
because of overnight calls, and I heard that you’ve “missed me”, etc. Now, It’s
weird. Yes, I’ve got no hope of having you back again. Yes, I know very well
that I have no rights to expect anything from you. No, I’m not hoping for your
love back. But yes, I still love you and yes, it still hurts. Yes, you are not
obliged of texting me back again blah blah blah but it insults my veins to know
that you “can” text or whatsoever; but its just that for whatever reason, you
won’t. No, I thought those offers that I’m giving you are just ones that you
may call “Effort” due to our long distance uh, ‘kay, friendship. Yes, I hate to
stay up late and wait for your text that never comes. Yes, I hate every second
of it -every tick of the clock, every breath that I take.
I love you.
But it doesn’t mean I can
get over you after you piss me off. Yes, I get pissed off but no, it’s not
helping. You already pissed me off for years -years that you seem
unapproachable. Yes, I’ve known you for years, like I used to say to my
friends. Well I hope I’m not wrong. And that, the one that I’ve known for
years, is the one I bare this strong feeling. Yes, sad to say, I’m addicted to
you. Like I think of you every time especially lunch times and midnights.
I can’t read your mind.
Yes, you seem predictable
for lowly things. But no, if it’s about your mind and your next acts, you’re
ocean deep. Yes, some of my friends are getting on my nerves saying I must not
commit myself for a long-distanced relationship. Yes, some said you are just
turning me into circles. Yes, some said I’m just a hopeless shit fantasizing a
“Stephanie” that would never be on my reach. Yes, it hurts but no, I cannot
give up.
A lot, I love you.
I mean, when is the last
time I ever said those words to you? I can’t love you but I’m feeling it. Yes,
you know I’ve tried the best ways of moving on but no, none of ‘em worked.
Whenever I think of us, yes, I tear and in the irony, it was like a joke for
me. I tear with a smile and sometimes a
little chuckle. Yes, I used to do that and lose to myself after debating the
chances and odds. I would smile whilst
and say to myself “Oh f***. This is how much I love her” with my wet face.
It was so sad to be me.
It was so sad to love you.
But the happiness I feel for
it is worthless, immeasurable, infinite, and unmatched. Cheer up, oh Joshua.
You’re still getting what you deserved you punk! Oh well, without this, how
could I comfort myself? -besides beer, which you favorably asked me to stop.
No, this is not a complaint.
Uh, it is my own way of tackling this shitty mood. After all, I’m still yours
:( and you may just grab me any time you want.
Bottom-line : HYFR, I love
you still… and I’m missing you already
##log: July 10, 2012; 3:17
AM
_resize.jpg)
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment